Princess FroFro and the Basement of Doom
by MCRDeathNoteLover
Summary: A crackfic. Plain and simple. :3


"Mikey, hand me the spoon," I said in a menacing voice. I was leaning over the torn apart body of Cuddles the stuffed clown. Mikey handed me the small silver piece of flatware, and I poised it right over the stuffing in the doll's body. I dug the spoon deep into the clouds of cotton, shoveling pieces of it out as Mikey caught it in a trashcan. I straightened my floral dress, wiped my brow, and continued to gut the stuffed animal.

"Gerard…" Mikey whispered, panic rising in his voice. "Gerard, someone's coming!"

I laughed evilly as I finished gutting the clown, finding what I had searched for for so long. I grabbed the plastic carrot and stuffed it into the front of my dress as the door to the basement opened. I turned around, poised to attack the intruder who would dare to interrupt me in my search for the carrot. I hissed as the overhead light turned on.

"Get out!" Mikey growled. I picked up one of Cuddles' severed arms; ready to defend myself as I climbed onto one of the rafters above my head.

"It is I, Masters," Frank said in a humble voice, bowing deeply. "I have found him. Princess Toro is here for the ceremony." Frank tugged on a rope that was leading up the stairs, and a young man with an afro came stumbling down the steps. His wrists were tied together with the rope.

"Wha- what's going on?" he asked, trembling.

"Princess Toro, welcome to the basement." I said, my voice sultry and seductive.

"What?" Frank tugged on the rope, leading him towards the table where we had previously gutted Cuddles the clown. Ray was hit over the head with the ceremonial ceramic unicorn, and promptly passed out on the purple card table. His legs hung over the edge as Mikey untied his hands. Frank turned the lights back off and shut the door.

I watched from my perch in the rafters as Frank and Mikey tied Princess Toro's hands and legs to the legs of the table, ripping his Iron Maiden shirt off of his body and rubbing baby wipes on his chest to cleanse his skin. I leaped down, landing elegantly in my high heels and pink floral dress.

I walked to the passed out man on the table. Mikey handed me the scissors, and I began the ceremony. I placed the tips of the scissors on Princess Toro's belly button, carefully cutting into his skin. I opened his entire chest this way. I pulled the carrot out of my dress, dipping it into the yellow blood that was seeping from the wounds I had made. Once I had covered the tip of the carrot in the yellow blood, I drew swirling designs around the face and arms of my victim.

Once this was done, I peeled the wound apart to reveal the sparkling golden innards of the man on the table. I ran my fingers over the glitter, admiring how velvet smooth it felt under my fingertips. I placed my lips to the sparkles, sticking my tongue to them and lapping them up. They tasted and smelled like lemon pudding. As I licked up the delicious sacrifice, I heard a barely suppressed giggle.

"MIKEY! SHUT YOUR FACE!" I said, wiping the lemon flavored guts off my face with my sleeve.

"It wasn't me!"

Once I had finished all of this, I placed the carrot on the silver tray being held by Mikey. Frank held up the silver cloak and I slid my arms into the roomy and flowing sleeves. Mikey and Frank had on similar cloaks, with their hoods pulled up to shade their eyes. I pulled my own hood up and put my arms in the air, reaching towards the ceiling.

"Oh great mother of Unicorns, please accept this offering as a show of our gratitude!" I yelled. Mikey and Frank began to chant as I turned back to Ray.

"Om ya shark bait, om ya shark bait, om ya shark bait…"

I picked up the spoon that I had used to gut Cuddles as Mikey brought a pink bowl forward. He knelt on the floor, holding the bowl above his head and I began to scoop the sparkles out of Ray.

All of a sudden, at the most intense moment of the ritual sacrifice to the unicorn gods, I heard high pitched… giggling?

"It tickles, stop! Stop it!" Ray squealed.

"RAAAAY! YOOOOUUUUU RUUUUUUUUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINEE EEEEEED IIIIIIT!" I whined.

"YOU MEAN WE KILLED CUDDLES AND DESPARKLED SPARKLES THE UNICORN FOR NOTHING!?" Mikey screamed.

"Boys? Where's my lemon pudding?!" Mom called from upstairs.

"Crap. If she asks, blame Mikey." I said.

"HEY!" Ray sat up, and the sparkly pudding began to run down his chest.

"Next time Gerard, keep those scissors a little bit further from my skin. I thought you were trying to actually open me up, not just cut open this shirt," Ray said, peeling his lemony gooed shirt away from his lemony gooed skin, replacing it with his first shirt after wiping the pudding off his chest.

"Sorry Ray."

"BOYS?!" Mom called from upstairs. "WHERE'S THE PUDDING?!"


End file.
